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Life Balance Finding balance in life

Struggling

I’ve been struggling a little recently and I’m not entirely sure why? (I’m not anymore hence this post) What am I looking for?  A balanced life maybe? But what is it? What does it mean and what does it look like?  And how do you live a balanced life? I guess it’s different for different people, so here’s my post about Finding balance in life… I know I share a lot – but someone has to don’t they? Or else we are all left feeling that we are alone with these thoughts

Almost 3 years now since my new life began and it’s been a massive learning curve and continues to be (If you fancy reading my first ever break-up post Affairs of the heart – here it is). A very difficult life shift. To lose a life that you imagined would be yours for all your remaining days,  to find it suddenly stops is difficult! To say the very least. And those who have been there, know. Those who haven’t – well it’s hard to imagine, if not almost impossible. To be broken into so many pieces so abruptly is shocking and rebuilding takes time.

We all grow all the time. What happens to us shapes us. When you slowly find that new normal it’s a really interesting process, littered with so so many emotions that change daily, if not hourly.

You know after 3 years life feels very different. The dust settles and you get on with it. But there are new feelings, that run continuously, feelings of sadness still (yes), for what could have been and for the loss of your other life. My other life was balanced I think. Well I certainly didn’t ricochet so wildly between happy and sad as I do today. But it certainly does get easier with time, that’s a cliche that’s correct. So finding balance in life is what I’m striving to do

Contentment

So are we talking about contentment? Maybe. Are we content? Well I am quite a lot of the time. But recently it’s been strange. As you probably know I have just completed my dream extension, my dream Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy Kitchen and I’m oh so proud I did it, alone. But I think I ran with such purpose, so fast for 4 months. Then the build stopped as it was finished. Coupled with the completion I also had some difficult times with work and the tax man 🙁

Then life seems to get to be too much – suddenly and for no apparent reason! I couldn’t see clearly. I couldn’t understand why I was feeling so anxious, so down, so lacklustre, so exhausted. Like really exhausted…

So I stopped. I did all the things that I know help me. Ate well, drank water, spent time meditating, spent time resting, listened to music etc. I had (for 2 weeks) no desire to do anything, to see anyone, how strange! Do you ever feel like that? Maybe it’s normal….

Anyway following my ‘self-care’ as above I’ve finally started to feel better, to feel energise, to feel life I guess. I’ve started making plans again – this is nice 🙂 Maybe I was just exhausted. Maybe I feel better as the sun is shining.

Balanced Life

So now it’s left me thinking about how one can level out ones emotions. Or maybe that’s impossible? Can we stay on an even keel always, or is that not how life works? All I want to do is limit the rollercoaster, keep perspective in rocky times and just be and just breathe. And I think I’m learning

So how do we do it? I really don’t know but writing this helps me to focus and relax

This is my balance plan / reminders

 

  1. Take control of your own life – it’s all you can do – it’s yours after all – no one else’s
  2. Don’t look for your happiness in other people – big big one!! Listen up Clare!! Don’t put the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket 🙈 Stop giving those people the power!
  3. Know you are enough always – you arrived here alone and you will leave alone – fact
  4. And know you can do it on your own whatever it is – always – embrace it
  5. Nurture your friendships,  the important ones because they really are so important
  6. Stop worrying (sighs*)- thoughts are only thoughts – they are not actual facts /reality – only work with facts
  7. Try something new – go on….
  8. Forget FOMO – life is not what it seems on your instagram grid!
  9. Dance in the kitchen to very loud music and sing loudly (I do this very often)
  10. Don’t wait, just do it? I think they say feel the fear and do it anyway? It’s never the wrong time
  11. Sift your contacts – be ruthless, really ruthless. Ask yourself why? – ask yourself if they bring you joy, or do you give everything. Never forget it’s a two way street
  12. Unfollow on Social Media
  13. Look for equal dignity in all relationships
  14. Know your weaknesses – work on them
  15. Just be – stop the pressure
  16. Say no, often! How bloody liberating!
  17. Calm – stop the panic – you are just fine – aren’t you?
  18. Get enough sleep – sleep is the mother of all happy snatchers
  19. Drink enough water (boring I know)
  20. Get outside – walk
  21. Be kind
  22. Breathe
  23. And finally ALWAYS remember if they’re interested you know because if you’re confused they are not interested! It’s that simple
So I’ll let you know how I go! In search of ‘balance’ let me know if you’re Finding balance in life?
Big love Clare xx

Comments

Janice Walker says:
Your balance plan is awesome! I don't know you, but we've had a few parallels in our life journeys over the past three years, and your updates have often resonated with me. I'm not sure the loss of what 'should have been' is ever going to go, but like any grief, I do believe we learn to live with the pain and adapt accordingly. I know I find happiness in the smallest things now, I don't sweat the small stuff, and I live every moment to the full. Never forget that life is a gift, even if it doesn't always feel that way, and if balance is lost, then just like you did on the balance beam in the playground as a child; stop, reposition your feet and keep putting one in front of the other until you reach your destination! Keep going Clare, I think you're wonderful, and I am a complete stranger, so I goodness only knows how much your loved ones think of you!
    Clare x says:
    Oh my - you just made me have a tear - thank you - you my lovely are exactly why i write these posts. It's so good to share this stuff! Love & light Cx
Anonymous says:
Loved reading this ❤️🥰
Neens says:
You are bloomin’ fabulous 😘💪🏼