Over the years I have become quite an expert on the topic of MAN FLU.
The potentially life threatening illness borne only by the male of the species with an XY Chromosome.
Woman cannot get it. FACT
What I have learnt in my study :
- Tends to start out as a sniffle. And comments such as – ‘I think I’m getting a cold, very closely followed by ‘its not cold, its either full flu or some nasty virus’
- Main symptoms exaggerated coughing, sniffing – mild to severe grumpiness, not much communication
- However MF doesn’t appear to get in the way of midweek drinking with colleagues. Nor football games – but hits heavily in the evening when the man is at home
- Weekends tend to be when the real effects happen – so much so that they can barely move from the sofa and cannot quite reach the remote control
- Alcohol and excessive tea drinking appears to help symptoms but only when served by a female
- A MF sufferer does not tolerate any form of sarcasm and definitely the words ‘Man Flu’ – cannot be mentioned, it seems to make the condition worse and hampers recovery by an average 3 days
- It takes 5 days more for a man to recover from ‘man flu’ than it does for a woman to recover from a common cold – average length MF – 7-11 days.
- And I have also learnt that only men know the real definition of MF. Many a time I have told another guy that ‘He-Who -Doesn’t-Cook’ has MF and the sympathy is ridiculous from male to male . An out pouring of concern!
- Men do not recover from this flu it seems to disappear and is not mentioned again – any mention of ‘so you are better then?’ tends to revive the symptoms
- My advise after many many years of study is that ladies, just go with it. Any reference or sarcasm can put the poor man back by at least 3 days….. trust me!
Remember – Man Flu is a bona-fide and debilitating illness 😉 No SHIT
Note – once Man Flu did turn into pnumonia – so be careful ladies….
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