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2017 – So how was it? – an honest little update…

So as another year draws to an end I thought it about time that I wrote a little about this life and how it twists and turns and what a joyous and frustrating life it can be. I’ve been quite quiet recently as I’ve been struggling a little. It’s Christmas time and with Christmas comes all the ideals, the emotional pulls, the memories, it’s painful, but deep down I know I’m lucky, we must not get dragged down with the thoughts in our head of perfect lives. I’ve shared a lot of my feelings (not all – trust me – my site would probably be taken down) on my breakup and now we are at the 15 month mark. I still hurt. I’m still really hurt. Not sure I’ll ever be the same again. I still believe my life was snatched. And I know these things happen, it’s the way of the world unfortunately.

But maybe, just maybe my life was on a different track…. 2017 has been so full of up’s – of new beginning and at times sadness, the same for everyone I guess. So I must be talking about change I think? I’m talking about walking away from all that I had know for 23 years, from my old life, and from everything that was ‘normal’ for me. But things don’t stop do they? They continue…… time matches on… ready or not! They change? Hitting 50 this year was a real milestone for me – and alone…

I’ll use this – it’s so elouquently says what I need to say…..

‘The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Do it. Throw yourself.”
― C. JoyBell C.

So I think it’s fair to say  I threw myself (continually actually, over the last year) mostly scared, always like a whirling dervish – at life. I’ve worked like a total idiot at my day job (It’s been a tough year work wise), like a mad woman on my blog, (more about that later), furociously at charity fundraising, at making a difference, at building a home (a haven) or at least trying too. It’s called actively building a new life, rather that sitting and contemplating (which is all too easy). And I’ve created a life that’s very different from my old one, a life where I laugh a lot (a lot), a life where I’m always tired, but a good good life nonetheless. I have a lot to be very thankful for.

I’ve met some very special new people in 2017 and for that I’m VERY grateful, it’s like they were sent for me (Dolly, Annie, Beverly, Paul, Alexia, and the rest, you know who you are…. thank you) and I’ve met a couple of  guys this year and had some fun. Just recently I’ve had a blast for 3 months, such fun, but also oh so difficult in so many ways, we met as friends but life is so so bloody complicated.  Putting it out there was scary – I didnt post as I thought I may be tempting fate? It’s really hard and the disappointment of what might have been is here again…. But hey it was fun anyway.

So what were your highlights of 2017? Was it a good one for you? Mine have to be centred around hitting 50 in June – I did some amazing things with lovely people. This is what matters in life. I went to Antigua in March, Lake Garda in June and had many special days and nights with lovely people celebrating! I also managed to see Emilie Sande (Thanks Andy my Music Husband) Jess Glynn (Thanks Paul – what a day hey! ) and a little bit of Ollie Murs thrown in!  Variety hey :-) x Happy Summer. I also acquired my most loved piece of jewelery a piece (Thanks – you know who you are)  I will have forever and I had it designed and made by the magnificent Mr Knott! I’d been waiting for it for  a long time <3 and i love it…

My Blog:

My blog easy peasy is something that makes me very happy, it’s a happy little community and it  gives me a voice to share lives ups and downs the ones we all face. I know I haven’t shared that many recipes this year (I’ve been busy – sorry) But I promise I will share more in 2018. There are over 300 posts now on EPLS so please have a look around and share the love for me. I hope later in life to be a full time blogger – but not just yet….. I need you to help me make my dreams come true – please spread the EPLS love xxx I’m attacking January and 2018 with a new concept – a concept that is not around dieting but about ‘nourishing’ and making my body (or trying to) fit & healthier. So I will work around #NOURISHEPLS – you up for that?

My Blog traffic has more than doubled this year – 200,000 Unique page views on my website – thank you xxx I’m proud of that. This year I also managed to do some radio, to write a travel article and have it published and to attend some amazing blogging events. The blogging community is so supportive, a joy!

The most popular recipe was Freda’s Apple Loaf, closely followed by Cherry Madeira and Janes Banana Cake – we must be cake lovers :-)

Life Observations:  

I have also realised (a lot this year) that all most people want is to be adored and to adore that one special person, or a few? Yes? I guess it’s the same for everyone coming out of a long term relationship or in relationships come to think of it? It seems we all just want to be happy – whatever that means? I think we have to expose ourselves to give ourselves a chance? A chance at finding it again…. happiness –  But boy it’s hard work! We have just one precious life and we need to decide what we will do with it. We have to be true to ourselves firstly and we have to love ourselves and I’m learning and have learnt  a lot this year!  I also see a lot people compromising their lives for safety/comfort and this makes me very sad. This is especially true and magnified when you see rubbish things happening to amazing people around you and it’s simply not fair. I guess it’s the old adage – Life is not fair! I have a friend really struggling and she is my inspiration. What right do we have to moan when there’s so much sadness and cruelty in this world?! Who am I to moan? So I try not too…. Big up to my lovely friend – you know who you are Cx

So I finish 2017 thinking again, I’m not ready to give up on my next dream – NO WAY. The dream where I’m at one with myself and hopefully maybe with one special person. So watch out I think it’s time to try again, but not yet. I think we need to just ‘Throw Ourselves’

What do you think?

So 2018 I’m ready for you. Are you guys ready? Let me know your dreams for 2018 – I love the inspiration….

2017 – So how was it? for you?

To be continued………..

 

Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.com

Comments

Anonymous says:
following you with interest having trodden a simiar path - think you are doing gr8 x
    Clare x says:
    Thank you Cx
Honest Mum says:
Beautiful, honest and reflective post. You are a brilliant and strong woman and 2018 is going to be fabulous just like you. Happy New Year xx
    Clare x says:
    Bless you darling x
Suzanne says:
Loved your 2017 summary, I am sure it will be a great support to many people x
Suzanne says:
Loved your 2017 summary, I am sure it will be a great support to many people x
Emma T says:
Sounds like you've got some good plans for 2018, and are working through the previous downsides. Hope it all goes to plan #brillblogposts
A. says:
I’ve thought about my comment because I don’t want to write something banal-your work deserves so much more! I love the frank, open approach you adopt. It is surely easy for readers to identify with part, if not all of what you write in some way. Maybe been through it , going through it, watching someone close going through it…it doesn’t matter, it’s recognizable and very real. I love the positivity, the ‘I’ve got this’ attitude. If things go wrong I can, and will, bounce back. In your writing there’s always the awareness of others and the great value you place on friends, on people who matter to you -and the way you make sure they know it. I’m watching someone very important fight hard right now. The importance of that positivity has never been more obvious. I hate what’s happening there, but as you imply say ‘life sometimes just isn’t fair’. That’s when you need to be a good friend. Love your blog, keep doing it in 2018. Your writing ability is a gift: I don’t know anyone else who could turn ‘Clown’ into a huge compliment…except possibly Emilie!
Carolynne says:
Happy New Year my lovely, 2018 is going to be a fabulous year. It will be whatever you want it to be. Your blog is just great keep doing what you do...... you’re doing just 👌🏽😘
Adèle says:
Real, heartfelt, transparent, warm, reflective yet eternally positive....